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GRACE part 2

In Galatians 5:22 lists the fruits of the Spirit as 1) love, 2) joy 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness, 6) goodness, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness and 9) self-control.  In trying to memorize these, I thought 9 was such an odd number. I can’t think of another time that 9 was a “thing” in the Bible.  There are 12 Disciples, 7 comes up a lot, 3 also, even 40 comes up both in the old and new testaments…but 9? I thought that 10 would have been a better number to work with and I wonder if the illustrious and ever so outspoken Paul had actually written 10 but one was left out of the cannon.  If there WERE 10 what would that last one have been?

MY projection, coming from Paul, is that the 10th fruit of the Spirit might have been “swift kick in the arse.”  Yep. You heard it here first. With our loved ones, with EVERYONE, truly, we are to act in a manner separate from this world.  We are to act according to the Spirit. We are to offer ALL these 9 things to those around us–and if we are becoming a doormat instead of a covering we are to offer that #10— give them a swift kick and start the routine over.   Like this, love on them, be patient with and kind to them, be faithful that things will be ok, treat them with gentleness and exhibit self-control NOT to reciprocate with wrong. Things not ok? Give them a kick and then love on them some more, be patient and kind to them etc etc…

Perhaps.

But, do you have a bruise? A black eye? Has your bank account been emptied out do the actions of another?  Are your friends telling you that you look worse for the wear-that you are either gaining weight or losing too much weight.  Are you stressed and unfocused, losing your hair, chewing at your fingernails–do the the repeated actions of another? If so, you have crossed the line and you are being a doormat.  It’s time for that swift kick.

The sins listed in Galatians are first listed as “obvious.”  In case you don’t know Paul, he’s pretty blunt about things.  He doesn’t often sugar coat the message he has to deliver. So even here, he explicitly states “it’s OBVIOUS what the sins are.” Specifically though, sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness and orgies.  

But I THINK I figured something out.  How do we cross that line from grace to doormat?  The more I process it the simpler it seems. It has to do with exactly what is being covered over.  Is it A sin, A wrong, A misstep?  I mean were you stood up ONCE, lied to ONCE, cheated on ONCE…or does the offending party have an addiction to this behavior?  Is the offender prone to a certain unacceptable behavior? Because if its an ADDICTION, way of life or prone to behavior then THAT is what needs to be addressed and changed.  NOT the offensive act itself but the fact that they are prone to a certain behavior. If the offender is unenlightened and repeatedly engages in fits of rage, verbal abuse etc…then they need to change and become more enlightened or be retrained (or TRAINED!).  They need to learn to exercise the brain to end the fight-or-flight responses and train it to push their reactions up higher into the thinking brain. That might take counseling. They might not go to counseling without you first bestowing that 10th fruit of the spirit upon them.  If they respond to the kick–then offer grace while the change is happening. But it is wrong to think that we are offering grace for an addiction or ingrained behavior-because the repeated acts are then NOT really the issue and THAT is what victims might be looking at–the wrong thing.   

Paul, the author of so many books in the Bible, is a supreme example of it being possible for a person to change.  Paul was a genocidal maniac, really. He repented and really changed his entire behavior and thought process. So it IS possible.  Many people had to offer him grace. But he CHANGED.

Is there someone that YOU have seen change?  Do you know someone who NEEDS to change? What kind of ‘swift kicks in the arse’ have you bestowed on someone else?  What was the result?

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GRACE Part 1

Grace is a covering NOT a doormat.

Are you in a great relationship or a messy one?  If you’re in a GREAT relationship I would like to know your thoughts on my musings and if they are are helpful to you.  If you’re in a messy relationship, READ ON.

We all cover the dirt to make ourselves look good.  We cover our dirty walls with paint, our floors with carpeting and our sins and pains with a smile.  And that’s all right and good because accidents happen. We all make mistakes and others make mistakes that have an effect on us.  The people we love (and are SUPPOSED to love) will make mistakes and we SHOULD cover it up–give them GRACE. That way we BOTH look good.

But what about when it gets messy?  I mean REALLY messy. What if the person who loves me (or is SUPPOSED to love me) has such an effect on me that I no longer look good…but THEY DO?  May I offer–THAT is NOT grace. That is being a doormat.

Grace is something that is OFFERED not TAKEN.

Grace covers up a stain, a sin, a wrongdoing and GRACE looks good on the outside.  It’s clean, bright and shiny. People walk by and say “Oh, that looks so good!” The problem or dirt is still there but to those on the outside, it can’t be seen.

A doormat, however is filthy.  People wipe their feet on it and the dirt is left there and now, their feet are clean and THEY look good but the doormat doesn’t.   Wiping one’s feet on a doormat that’s just laying there, also, is something that THEY take-they do. The doormat has no reaction. The covering of GRACE must be lifted by the giver.   Not the doormat. The doormat is stagnant and just lays there getting dirtier and dirtier. And has anyone ever cleaned a doormat? Of course not. When it’s dirty and tattered enough, it just gets thrown out.

Is there a fine line between offering grace and turning into a doormat?  You BET! And why is that? I would love to hear your thoughts if you have ever crossed the line of consistently offering grace but then turning into a doormat.

I have but one projection to offer. Which will be coming in part 2.  It is rooted in the scripture from Galatians 5:22.

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Life on a Lunch Tray

April is very busy month for me requiring LOTS of adulting. I have approached each day with fear and prayer, dread and gratitude, counting down the days and counting all the blessings throughout the day. As Macrina the Monk says…”picking up all the bread crumbs.” I’m going to savor them and combine them into a full loaf of bread next month.

Each time I completed a project I DID, in fact, feel a sense of relief. And I DID feel the load lighten a bit…and I did stop to count down–“well, one more day closer to the end of April.”

So, when I emerged from a tough day in divorce court I actually had a spring in my step. I fought hard, prayed hard and had my posse praying for me and I was completely divinely inspired with this analogy of Life On A Lunch Tray.

Some say we have a full plate, or “I have a lot on my plate.” I’m thinking of this month more like a lunch tray-all compartmentalized.

  • Don’t let any of the stuff touch each other
  • Don’t mix the stuff
  • Keep an eye on the set dining time because I MUST finish on time.
  • ONLY eat from ONE compartment at a time.
  • Don’t overfill my tray. (See #2) Don’t just heap everything on my tray. Since I have more than will fit into the compartments on the tray then they will just have to wait until I have cleared a compartment to hold it.
  • Be sure…absolutely INTENTIONAL about putting desert on my tray from time to time when a compartment is empty and gobble it up FAST!
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Toward the Light, My Seastar!

Image result for starfish

It is a common analogy that the butterfly represents our metamorphosis into a beautiful new being. When times are tough there will usually be someone around to encourage you to hang in there, your struggles are turning you into a beautiful butterfly. But what if you are in a dark place and all that butterfly stuff is not even visible on the horizon from you perspective? When darkness seems to overshadow you, and the thought of being something beautiful is unattainable?

Folks I give you the SEASTAR! A seastar doesn’t actually have eyeballs to see, but rather eye spots. The seastar lives on the dark bottom of the ocean floor and its eyespots detect light. The seastar moves toward the light. When darkness overshadows it, it goes on the move again always searching for the light. Resting in the light and when the darkness moves in it slowly slides along in search of the light again.

When darkness seems to overshadow you, I encourage you to continue the fight to JUST KEEP MOVING TOWARD THE LIGHT. Where is that light? It might be in the company of a trusted friend, a smell that makes you feel better, a sound, a song, a sight-something you like to look at. If you practice a particular faith, it might be something you read or practice in that faith. It might be thinking about things you can be grateful for. it might be silence, it might be noise. Although I am SURE that your proverbial “time” will come, some seasons we need to focus on the here and now. Don’t worry about trying to live up to anyone else’s standards or cheering section. (There ARE loved ones cheering for you, by the way!)

Just do your best TODAY to be a seastar. Don’t worry about all that beautiful butterfly stuff! Keep moving toward the light.

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When it’s OK to be bitter

A few days ago my son started telling me that the monarch butterfly is poisonous. I know where he might have learned that but was sure he only had part of the story. I realize now that is was God’s precursor to what I saw today.

I was on a brisk walk and saw a bird chasing a very small yellow butterfly. They were both skimming across the tops of the blades of grass. The bird was medium sized; not a small canary but not a large black crow (we have a lot of crows around here.) The butterfly was quite small, I have little sticky notes that size, about 1/2 the size of a regular business card. So, I’m sure the bird seemed HUGE to the butterfly. The bird was chasing the butterfly and finally caught it, took it to the perch of a high wrought iron fence that surrounds a children’s play structure and SPIT the butterfly out. I could see the butterfly vigilantly, wildly, frantically fluttering for freedom when suddenly the bird just spit him out! At first I thought about Jesus chasing us this way, as we flit along and He trails after us in hot pursuit until he catches …but then THIS bird spit the butterfly out.

So, I thought it more akin to Satan chasing us. The bird was NOT THAT big, not that ominous looking like these crows. It was an nice enough looking bird and though it wasn’t THAT big it truly must have looked ENORMOUS to that little butterfly. We’ve all heard the whole Christian turning into a new creation like the butterfly analogy. We often think of Satan being obviously and freakishly scary looking or ugly. Not often enough do we consider him to appear like a vicious wolf in soft sheep’s clothing. Satan might actually look like something somewhat attractive and innocent. And so my mind went toward this encounter being more of a representation of Satan chasing us. We flee. Frantically weaving in and out and trying to hide from him in this world. We fly up and reach to heaven where we know we will be protected and **SNATCH!!** SATAN snatches us up in his grip any way he can! But with just one little wound as a drip of our innards ooze out onto his tongue he spits us out for the bitterness and sting that WE produce in HIS mouth! Yes, we fall to the ground wounded, yes, the wound MIGHT be a fatal one, but I pray Satan is so revolted by the taste of me that he spits me out once he gets me in his grips.

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Sinners and Saints

Guilt and shame.  Long have I lived buried in guilt and shame.  I came from a great family, great stock, great parents.  Somewhere along the way I took to feeling insecure, less than, unaccomplished.  It’s a mixture of many factors.  I own them all.  Less than good relationships, over sensitivity, being raised Catholic. 

A few years ago, during one of the most enlightening times in my life, I was talking to my mentor.  The absolute wisest woman I have ever met.  Hands down.  I mean, I am taken aback by her astuteness and short sentences that cut right to the chase hitting a nail right on the head.  Anyway…I was whining about something.  Neah, I was reliving some past pain of guilt or shame when she said, “Ok, but you’ve been healed of that. You CAN leave it in the past.”  And I thought, so simple and yet… YES!! I HAVE overcome that.  Why keep revisiting it?!  Because, I’m USED to feeling less than…and those thoughts keep me there.  

In Christianity-and several rock and roll songs-we refer to ourselves as sinners and saints.  Sometimes we are playing one roll, some days the other. My mentor talked about how in our faith walk we often spend way more time thinking about and beating ourselves down for this sin life we are living.  For the sinners that we are.  But our faith CALLS us as SAINTS.  As FRIENDS to Jesus.  Why don’t we get in the habit of HUMBLY relishing in THIS aspect of our existence?

And then I came upon the writings of Macrina Wiederkehr in A Tree Full of Angels.  She has been called at times “refreshingly heretical.”   God DOES need to use us after all and if our focus is completely on our sin life to the point that we are crippling ourselves, then we are NOT useful now, are we? Here’s what she says of some of the ‘greats’ such as C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien: “They had had an inkling of their greatness and splendor.  Are you not perhaps an anonymous member of the inklings?  I am! I have an inkling of my greatness.  Of my littleness I have certitude.  Yet the more I embrace the little one that I am, the more I have an inkling of some mysterious greatness, something infinite stirring within and yearning to be found.  I feel it within me more each day.  It is like dynamite waiting to be ignited, like a treasure waiting to be found, like a gift waiting to be given and received.”

And what of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5?  How long did I focus on the suffering and littleness when right in front of me all along was an inkling of the GREATNESS that was being offered?  I grew up focused on trying to feel blessed because I was poor, mournful, meek, hungry, thirsty.  Why? Because, I wrongfully thought God could use me if I was suffering.  I did my best to obediently jump through hoops to show others mercy, do good for good reason, make peace…and when I felt persecuted for it…well, that was the blessing. But the scales were removed from my eyes when I focused my heart on the second half of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those verses.  The kingdom of Heaven is mine! I will inherit the earth! I will be filled! I will be shown mercy! I will SEE GOD! Whaaat??! I will be called child of God.  

Wait.  WHAT?!  What power!  Forget defeat, God WANTS us to embrace this powerful-as-dynamite gift waiting to be given and received.  In actuality it is a gift that HAS ALREADY BEEN GIVEN.  But it’s still sitting there unwrapped, just waiting to be LIT UP.