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Life on a Lunch Tray

April is very busy month for me requiring LOTS of adulting. I have approached each day with fear and prayer, dread and gratitude, counting down the days and counting all the blessings throughout the day. As Macrina the Monk says…”picking up all the bread crumbs.” I’m going to savor them and combine them into a full loaf of bread next month.

Each time I completed a project I DID, in fact, feel a sense of relief. And I DID feel the load lighten a bit…and I did stop to count down–“well, one more day closer to the end of April.”

So, when I emerged from a tough day in divorce court I actually had a spring in my step. I fought hard, prayed hard and had my posse praying for me and I was completely divinely inspired with this analogy of Life On A Lunch Tray.

Some say we have a full plate, or “I have a lot on my plate.” I’m thinking of this month more like a lunch tray-all compartmentalized.

  • Don’t let any of the stuff touch each other
  • Don’t mix the stuff
  • Keep an eye on the set dining time because I MUST finish on time.
  • ONLY eat from ONE compartment at a time.
  • Don’t overfill my tray. (See #2) Don’t just heap everything on my tray. Since I have more than will fit into the compartments on the tray then they will just have to wait until I have cleared a compartment to hold it.
  • Be sure…absolutely INTENTIONAL about putting desert on my tray from time to time when a compartment is empty and gobble it up FAST!
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ALL in ONE–and I do mean ALL

So…. you can google and youtube videos of hilarious sales reps coming to people’s doors. But this one is particularly funny…

And it’s ALL TRUE.  I first heard of this product because a hilarious person knocked on my door.  They were also very very kind.  And they listened to what I was saying, I know because their hilarity kept feeding off what I had said.  So, I purchased.  I was VERY satisfied and then a couple of years later when they knocked on my door again, I told them to SAVE their energy and hilarity and I purchased right away.  After a stint in Amway and many many trips to the grocery store all touting separate cleaners for every. little. thing.  Who DOESN’T want an effective all in one cleaner?!?  Honestly!! If it WORKS! And THIS product does WORK on literally EVERYTHING!  You can’t use clorox based cleaners on a greasy range…but ADVANAGE works!  You can’t mix ANYTHING up really and find that it works EVERYWHERE. But ADVANAGE  does work….really, it does.  Choose your scent.  I don’t really care.  I do hate cleaning-so I LOVE this product!!h

Try it yourself by clicking the link above.

Or Trust me completely and click on this link to get more for your money!

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This thing THOUGH!

So, I don’t buy a lot of “stuff.” But I DID buy THIS! A couple of years ago. I LOVE being on the water. I DON’T plan on actually white water (white knuckle) rafting on it down any rapids. I have your average run of the mill CAR, no rack and an 8 yr. old. And WHERE am I going to store an entire kayak? One that I only use seasonally? I don’t have room ON my car nor IN my garage nor AROUND my house for a bulky kayak. This thing completely fits into the carry bag and I hurl it into the trunk of my car! I LOVE it! It’s plenty roomy for 2 adults. It’s sturdy on the water, no tipping.

I’ve been on calm parts of the river near our home. The Yolo Bypass when it’s crazy flooded. A lake up in Shasta. It’s so great. I’ve seen more wildlife by kayaking out and around beyond the shore.

It takes longer to roll up and put away than it does to inflate. CAUTION-be sure it is absolutely totally and COMPLETELY dry. I now wipe the crevices with a dry towel. I let mine sit out for a couple of days. I don’t know WHAT I did, but once I put it away, didn’t use it for a couple of months and when I unrolled it there was purple mold/mildew stains on it. It’s pretty color purple but there is no way to get it off. I was sure that it was dry when I put it away, but…nope.

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Toward the Light, My Seastar!

Image result for starfish

It is a common analogy that the butterfly represents our metamorphosis into a beautiful new being. When times are tough there will usually be someone around to encourage you to hang in there, your struggles are turning you into a beautiful butterfly. But what if you are in a dark place and all that butterfly stuff is not even visible on the horizon from you perspective? When darkness seems to overshadow you, and the thought of being something beautiful is unattainable?

Folks I give you the SEASTAR! A seastar doesn’t actually have eyeballs to see, but rather eye spots. The seastar lives on the dark bottom of the ocean floor and its eyespots detect light. The seastar moves toward the light. When darkness overshadows it, it goes on the move again always searching for the light. Resting in the light and when the darkness moves in it slowly slides along in search of the light again.

When darkness seems to overshadow you, I encourage you to continue the fight to JUST KEEP MOVING TOWARD THE LIGHT. Where is that light? It might be in the company of a trusted friend, a smell that makes you feel better, a sound, a song, a sight-something you like to look at. If you practice a particular faith, it might be something you read or practice in that faith. It might be thinking about things you can be grateful for. it might be silence, it might be noise. Although I am SURE that your proverbial “time” will come, some seasons we need to focus on the here and now. Don’t worry about trying to live up to anyone else’s standards or cheering section. (There ARE loved ones cheering for you, by the way!)

Just do your best TODAY to be a seastar. Don’t worry about all that beautiful butterfly stuff! Keep moving toward the light.

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A Psalm of Life

by, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882_

What the heart of the the young man said to the psalmist

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
     Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
     And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
     And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
     Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
     Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
     Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
     And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
     Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
     In the bivouac of Life,
Be not the dumb, driven cattle!
     Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
     Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,-act in the living Present!
     heart within, and God o'er head!

Lives of great men all remind us
     We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
     Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
     Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
     Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
     With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
     Learn to labor and to waid.


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When it’s OK to be bitter

A few days ago my son started telling me that the monarch butterfly is poisonous. I know where he might have learned that but was sure he only had part of the story. I realize now that is was God’s precursor to what I saw today.

I was on a brisk walk and saw a bird chasing a very small yellow butterfly. They were both skimming across the tops of the blades of grass. The bird was medium sized; not a small canary but not a large black crow (we have a lot of crows around here.) The butterfly was quite small, I have little sticky notes that size, about 1/2 the size of a regular business card. So, I’m sure the bird seemed HUGE to the butterfly. The bird was chasing the butterfly and finally caught it, took it to the perch of a high wrought iron fence that surrounds a children’s play structure and SPIT the butterfly out. I could see the butterfly vigilantly, wildly, frantically fluttering for freedom when suddenly the bird just spit him out! At first I thought about Jesus chasing us this way, as we flit along and He trails after us in hot pursuit until he catches …but then THIS bird spit the butterfly out.

So, I thought it more akin to Satan chasing us. The bird was NOT THAT big, not that ominous looking like these crows. It was an nice enough looking bird and though it wasn’t THAT big it truly must have looked ENORMOUS to that little butterfly. We’ve all heard the whole Christian turning into a new creation like the butterfly analogy. We often think of Satan being obviously and freakishly scary looking or ugly. Not often enough do we consider him to appear like a vicious wolf in soft sheep’s clothing. Satan might actually look like something somewhat attractive and innocent. And so my mind went toward this encounter being more of a representation of Satan chasing us. We flee. Frantically weaving in and out and trying to hide from him in this world. We fly up and reach to heaven where we know we will be protected and **SNATCH!!** SATAN snatches us up in his grip any way he can! But with just one little wound as a drip of our innards ooze out onto his tongue he spits us out for the bitterness and sting that WE produce in HIS mouth! Yes, we fall to the ground wounded, yes, the wound MIGHT be a fatal one, but I pray Satan is so revolted by the taste of me that he spits me out once he gets me in his grips.

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Sinners and Saints

Guilt and shame.  Long have I lived buried in guilt and shame.  I came from a great family, great stock, great parents.  Somewhere along the way I took to feeling insecure, less than, unaccomplished.  It’s a mixture of many factors.  I own them all.  Less than good relationships, over sensitivity, being raised Catholic. 

A few years ago, during one of the most enlightening times in my life, I was talking to my mentor.  The absolute wisest woman I have ever met.  Hands down.  I mean, I am taken aback by her astuteness and short sentences that cut right to the chase hitting a nail right on the head.  Anyway…I was whining about something.  Neah, I was reliving some past pain of guilt or shame when she said, “Ok, but you’ve been healed of that. You CAN leave it in the past.”  And I thought, so simple and yet… YES!! I HAVE overcome that.  Why keep revisiting it?!  Because, I’m USED to feeling less than…and those thoughts keep me there.  

In Christianity-and several rock and roll songs-we refer to ourselves as sinners and saints.  Sometimes we are playing one roll, some days the other. My mentor talked about how in our faith walk we often spend way more time thinking about and beating ourselves down for this sin life we are living.  For the sinners that we are.  But our faith CALLS us as SAINTS.  As FRIENDS to Jesus.  Why don’t we get in the habit of HUMBLY relishing in THIS aspect of our existence?

And then I came upon the writings of Macrina Wiederkehr in A Tree Full of Angels.  She has been called at times “refreshingly heretical.”   God DOES need to use us after all and if our focus is completely on our sin life to the point that we are crippling ourselves, then we are NOT useful now, are we? Here’s what she says of some of the ‘greats’ such as C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien: “They had had an inkling of their greatness and splendor.  Are you not perhaps an anonymous member of the inklings?  I am! I have an inkling of my greatness.  Of my littleness I have certitude.  Yet the more I embrace the little one that I am, the more I have an inkling of some mysterious greatness, something infinite stirring within and yearning to be found.  I feel it within me more each day.  It is like dynamite waiting to be ignited, like a treasure waiting to be found, like a gift waiting to be given and received.”

And what of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5?  How long did I focus on the suffering and littleness when right in front of me all along was an inkling of the GREATNESS that was being offered?  I grew up focused on trying to feel blessed because I was poor, mournful, meek, hungry, thirsty.  Why? Because, I wrongfully thought God could use me if I was suffering.  I did my best to obediently jump through hoops to show others mercy, do good for good reason, make peace…and when I felt persecuted for it…well, that was the blessing. But the scales were removed from my eyes when I focused my heart on the second half of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those verses.  The kingdom of Heaven is mine! I will inherit the earth! I will be filled! I will be shown mercy! I will SEE GOD! Whaaat??! I will be called child of God.  

Wait.  WHAT?!  What power!  Forget defeat, God WANTS us to embrace this powerful-as-dynamite gift waiting to be given and received.  In actuality it is a gift that HAS ALREADY BEEN GIVEN.  But it’s still sitting there unwrapped, just waiting to be LIT UP.

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Intentional Gratitude

Today I bring to you a writing from “the Ancients.”  My favorite president of all time  Abraham Lincoln.  

As part of the human condition, we come at odds with each other.  During Lincoln’s term so much so that we went to war brother against brother.  I know we are at a war of words among ourselves these days all over the decisions of our current president.  (I am going to TRY to write this without actually GIVING my opinion of Donald Trump.)  I want to focus on the solidarity of our times in comparison to the times of Abraham Lincoln.

The American people as a whole are at diverse odds among AND between ourselves.  The “writing of the ancients” that I offer to you today puts into perspective that, yet again, this is part of the human condition.  This has happened before and humanity has survived.   The United States of America has survived.  Thrived?  Yes, even thrived. (NOT something SOME nations and countries can attest to.  USSR, Siam, Persia, Suriname… to name a few.) 

How did we do it?  To what can we owe our salvation and preservation? GRATITUDE.  Being thankful and NOT FORGETTING to what or whom we owe this gratitude.  And yet we do, we DO forget.  Time and time again we are steered off course to focus on, who?  Ourselves? Our president?  Our perceived enemy?

What you are about to read is a piece I discovered decades ago.  I was so taken aback that I have been reading it at the Thanksgiving Meal as a traditions ever since.  No matter what family I am with or who is visiting in my household, I read this piece out loud every year as or as part of the blessing before dinner. Always before a completely captive-if not sometimes captivated-audience.  After 9-11-2001 it brought even MORE poignancy and I inserted timely verbiage on the spot to include “our soldiers in Afghanistan.”  I encourage you to do the same.  Make it timely for ourselves.  

The president of the United States of America, in 1863, thought this debt of gratitude so CRUCIAL to the survival of our nation that he proclaimed we take an entire day, together as a nation to honor and REMEMBER.  Take a step back out of the ring, the world does not revolve around you, or me or “us”or “them” but something/someone far far greater.

THANKSGIVING PROCLAMATION

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S 
THANKSGIVING PROCLAMATION OF
1863

It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God; to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations are blessed whose God is the Lord.

We know that by His divine law, nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world. May we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people?

We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown.

But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined in the deceitfulness or our hearts, that all these blessing were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November as a day of Thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father Who dwelleth in the heavens.

(signed) A. Lincoln
October 3, 1863

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Welcome to My Gallery!

You may order prints from my Etsy store! Just click on the Etsy link.

I hope you find connection, acceptance, inspiration and peace of mind.  

This one is called “The New, The Old and the Ancient.” 

I am in Rouen, France.  This is an older gentleman playing his accordion. Obviously.  However, I was first taken by his position before the storefront and the young people coming up the street.  Look a little closer.  The storefront is a sort of Benetton’s or The Gap.  It is built into an ancient half timbered building and the people coming up the street are strolling along ancient cobblestones.  They are probably on their lunch break or just getting off work.  Both the accordion player and the folks coming up the side street I’m sure have their own financial and personal struggles in this life.  Yet here they are coexisting, facing and headed toward the town square which is right behind.  The town square where, in the 15th century, Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.  Just imagine the problems SHE was facing at that time in her life!  And I can’t help but ponder the ancients who had gone before in that-now- clothing store.   Who lived and worked and sold their good from that very building?   Breathed and touched and gazed out the window and doorway?  Yes, I was truly blessed to be able to take this trip to France…even more so to behold the convergence of so many life forces.